Saturday, February 7, 2009

IF Slumdog Millionaire had an Indian director

Slumdog Millionaire has had resounding success all over the world.Award nominations everywhere be it for the music or the direction.The movie has 10 Oscar and 11 Bafta nominations.It has had its share of criticism from Bollywood as well as the media.

There have been many comments about the recognition and success of the movie due to its Hollywood status despite the Indian/Bollywood setting.Which has raised the question of its level of success had it indeed been made by an Indian director.

WARNING : Text below might reveal the plot of the movie.So people who aren't from this planet and have been living in a cave for the past few weeks and haven't seen the movie and plan to,then don't read as yet.Read after you have seen the movie,its a must watch.

Sooraj Barjatya

Sooraj Barjatya is the ultimate king in slow and boring family movies.

  • If Sooraj Barjatya had made this movie then the slum children would have been living all huddled up with their families.
  • Saleem and Jamal would have been living with their families and would have been stinking rich.
  • There would have been songs every now and then for no rhyme or reason!
  • The adaption of Who wants to be a Millionaire? would in itself have taken two and a half hours!
  • The character of Dev Patel would have been played by Salmaan Khan and the character would have been called Prem.

Mahesh Bhatt

  • Mahesh Bhatt or Bhat(whichever he prefers now!) would have launched a ravishing girl in the movie.
  • Freida Pinto would have worn some very questionable outfits in the movie.
  • Here,the character of Dev Patel would have been played by Emraan Hashmi.
  • Character of Dev Patel would first love Freida Pinto's character but then would fall out of love and find someone else.Then he would realise how its all been a big mistake and beg for forgiveness.
  • The music would be totally fabulous,not sure if the same could be said for the movie though.

Ram Gopal Verma

  • The movie would come and go and you wouldn't have a clue!
  • The attempts to scare people in the gun battles and eye destruction would have been rather funny.
  • Instead of appearing on the show to win a million bucks,character of Dev Patel would have joined a gang and engulfing in fierce gun battles with other groups.
  • Freida Pinto's character would have been played by Urmila Matondkar.
  • The slum kids would have rather preferred to take autographs of Daud Ibrahim than Amitabh Bachchan!

Now I wonder whose version would the audience prefer,Danny Boyle's or the Indian directors?Let me know!


  1. Lol nice assumptions about all the directors......u could also add karan johar .......with karan johar the movie would start with a "K".....and shah rukh would star regardless the age of the character........freedo pinto would where short n shorter clothes or out of the world lavish sarees and the songs would be shot as dream sequences in eqypt

  2. Lol yeah and it would have a dance song out of nowhere and the characters of Freida Pinto and Dev Patel would fall in love and get married.No millionaire dreams,no money hassle!

  3. *screams Dev Patel and goes off into her own little world*

  4. Good concept for the article. But average execution.

    I'll check your other posts now.
    (arrived from DesiPundit).

  5. Welcome Arvind and thanks for commenting.I agree with you on the average execution bit,hope to improve on such interesting topics in the future.I mean in delivery.I hope you enjoyed your stay :)

  6. Heh.

    (But I'd argue Bhandarkar already did it somewhat with the relatively inferior Traffic Signal. Just sayin')

  7. I would love to see that movie then.Thanks for the tip Rohan :)


But what about equality?

AIt is around 1.30 PM in Delhi. The heat is at its peak and it is not even May yet. People have been waiting at the bus stop for quite a wh...